July 9th

No matter what people say, how they say it, or the intention that lies behind it you have to discover yourself on your own terms. If you are one of those people, like me, who finds themselves locked into all the self-help bullshit there is in the world, non of it will actually work unless you try, fail, try, fail over and over again and really dig deep down inside and decide to actually punch life in the face.

I have been on this ridiculous quest to find the best version of me for far too long now. Listening and trying all the over-the-counter pills, snake oils, diets, and exercise routines until I actually needed to stop and seek the help of the pros. This got me on the prescription train to get me out of the hole that I had so nicely put myself in.

It is now really up to me to figure out my life, and build myself up to a point where I can not knock myself down.

There is more to the shit that is going on in my head than just overthinking, dwelling on things that are stupid, and procrastinating like a mutha fucker. The head is only a piece of the problem, the other lies with the rest of this meat suit that I am living in for the remainder of my days, and by meat suit I mean my body.

It is truly working on the whole package, the whole me. From what I eat, to how I use my body, to what influences my thoughts; it is all tied together. I am on the quest to become the best version of myself that I can be, a journey that I have dabbled with and barely scratched the surface of over the last 10 years.

It is time to punch life in the face and take what is rightfully mine, a happy, healthy, and successful me.

I know that all those things in the last sentence have different meanings to different people but to me they are simple. To be happy is to be free of worry and dread. To be healthy is to have my meat suit running at its peak which also affects how the mind runs, and say goodbye to depression and anxiety. Success to me is that I do not have to worry financially and can afford a few extravagant trips and things here and there.

I guess when I break it down it means freedom, freedom from the stresses of everyday life, freedom to do as I please when I please without anything holding me back, and I am able to push myself physically and mentally in fun and challenging situations.

Freedom also means order and simplicity in every way, I really like it when things are in order and simple. Also, not wasting fucking time. I am a pro at that last one and it kills me as I also hate it when I have my time wasted.

So the quest begins to discover how to become the best version of me that I can become. To hit the goals that I have stated above by making positive changes to my life.

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